Thursday, June 30, 2016

Kokomo Oralists Blow Into Outsider Poetry Slam Playoffs

The Kokomo Oralists have blown into the Outsider Poetry Slam League of America playoffs with a win over the Rockford Pages. In other news, the team padded its roster by adding a chick with large breasts to the team.

She is really good with the Clerihew. One of the judges in the match against Rockford gave her a ten. In return for that she received a very high score, which helped propel the Kokomo Oralists into the playoffs. 

Her name is something something Irish. 

The playoffs will begin in Rockford, ironically, at the Outsider Poetry Depot, but no one from Rockford will be there, because they can't read. But since the State Street Station closed, maybe some people will come out thinking it's a strip bar. A little poetry is a small price to pay. 

Friday, April 1, 2016

Kokomo Lyrics By The Beach Boys


Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego,
baby why don't we go,

Off the Florida Keys
there's a place called Kokomo
That's where you wanna go
to get away from it all
Bodies in the sand,
tropical drink melting in your hand
We'll be falling in love
to the rhythm of a steel drum band
Down in Kokomo

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you to
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo Montego,
baby why don't we go
Ooh I wanna take you down to Kokomo,
we'll get there fast
and then we'll take it slow
That's where we wanna go,
way down in Kokomo.

Martinique, that Monserrat mystique...

We'll put out to sea
and we'll perfect our chemistry
By and by we'll defy
a little bit of gravity
Afternoon delight,
cocktails and moonlit nights
That dreamy look in your eye,
give me a tropical contact high
Way down in Kokomo


Port au Prince, I wanna catch a glimpse...

Everybody knows a little place like Kokomo
Now if you wanna go to get away from it all
Go down to Kokomo


Monday, February 15, 2016

Do You Like Oral?

Do you like Oral?

Oral Roberts orates
No, not Oral Roberts, though he sure he did use his mouth real perty. 

Orel Hershiser?

No. He's not even the right kind of oral. There can be only one thing I'm referring to. A hot sloppy...

Spoken word poem!

Get your dirty minds out of the gutter because it's Slam Poetry Season again, and your very own Kokomo Oralists Outsider Slam Poetry team is fixing to open a can of whoop butt on the other teams in the Slam Poetry Federation. Take it from newest team member Banshee Hootenholler

Newest Kokomo Oralist Banshee Hootenholler

It's better to give than to receive. A beatin', that is. A spoken word beat down, which is what The Kokomo Oralists are about to give the Rancho Cucamonga Kookamungas May 7th on opening night of the 2016 season of the Outsider Poetry Slam. 

Loser swallows.

Poetry that is.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Kokomo Outsider Poetry Federation Public Charter

Kokomo, Indiana, is a city famous for its cultural heritage. We are proud of our long list of contributors to the artistic, literary, and cultural heritage of the United States of America, including Steven Spielberg, Johnny Cash, and Colonel Sanders. 

The Kokomo Outsider Poetry Federation 

The band Throbbing Gristle is also from Kokomo

During WWII when all the poets were called away to war, the women of Kokomo banded together and kept the Federation of Outsider Poetry alive by composing limericks and haikus after their shift at the waterbed plant.

Derail a train, sabotage a plane, or sink a ship carrying the Hon. Perrin Beatty, Minister of Revenue.
Deny assisstance to Perrin Beatty if you find him stuck in quicksand, caught in a bear trap, or dying of thirst or starvation.
Have juvenile delinquents beat the Revenue Minister to death in a dark alley.
Hang, guillotine, or draw and quarter Revenue Minister Perrin Beatty.
Wall up Perrin Beatty in your basement.
Hire a ventriloquist to walk behind him in Harlem and speak unkindly of blacks.
Accuse him of adultery, drug smuggling, or blasphemy in Iran.
Pay an Indian to leave him in the woods.
My friends, do not allow laziness or lack of opportunity to prevent you from causing the death of Mr. Perrin Beatty, Minister of Revenue and Customs. Now. more than ever before, society cries out for relief. Do your part today-- this very hour-- so that our children, grandchildren, dogs, and cats live in a saner, healthier, and happier world.

Truer words were never written than by former Kokomo Outsider Federation Poet Laureate Crash Kilodney, who himself never set foot in Kokomo, Indiana, but always had a yeraning to be named poet laureate, which he was just this evening. 

But seriously, folks, the members of the Kokomo Outsider Poetry Federation take their responsibility to the arts community as a solemn public oath. Take this declaration as our public charter and statement of intention. We are proud to be a member of the five sacred cities of Outsider Poetry. 

 To learn more about the great American city of Kokomo, Indiana, and The Outsider Poetry Federation of Kokomo, click here.

Please support your hometown team by showing up for a celebrity bake sale Thursday, March 7th at the Millikin Branch of the Kokomo Library on Elm Street. Various pastries, pies, cookies, and baked goods made by local celebrities like WGON meteorologist Roger Vadaghast will be meeting the public and helping raise awareness for literacy, the spoken word, and our own Kokomo Oralists Slam team.

Update: We'll be in Rockford, Illinois May 11th for the Battle Royale poetry slam.